Simon Says

Last year when Simon Cowell announced he was leaving Idol...I was pretty sure that was the end of the show. I was wrong. In adding Gennifah Hopez and Mrs. Steven Tyler, along with some VERY talented and likable contestants, Idol is back.

The first round of the real competition started last night and most of the contestants were aware of this. Lauren opened the show with every southern girls go-to karaoke song. It was kinda blah, the judges gave mediocre reviews but she is a front runner, she's only 9 years old, and she's ridiculously talented so she gets a free pass. Leprechaun Casey Abrams was next...Phenomenal. He's like Taylor Hicks (worst idol winner ever...just look at record sales) except waaaaay more talented. Diana Ross' granddaughter went 3rd. Ashton was lucky enough to snag a wild card spot last week...what a waste. She sang a terrible version of a terrible song and I hate when hot girls make themselves look gross...which she did. It looked like rainbow brite and Mariah Carey had combined all of their glitter and put it on her eye lids...ugh. Another front runner, Paul McDonald (my wife's idol crush) was 4th. I liked him better last week, but he is too quirky and talented to be in any trouble this early. In my opinion the night started with Mrs. Lawhorn   PIA took the stage. She sang "all by myself" and out did the best performer of last week, which was also her! This Goddess (not the charlie sheen kind) is in it to win it...and yah, like a 15 year old girl trying to win Justin bieber tickets, I called and voted for her.

 Less talented hetero version  of Adam Lambert James Durbin sucked. Yah he can scream like Steven Tyler but it's not a screaming contest...the guy is fairly talented but he gets on my nerves and the way he tried to work the audience at the end...you're not cool man. One girl that can give Pia and Lauren a run for their $$ is Haley. She did an AMAZING job with Skankann Rimes "blue" but it was pretty snooze worthy. Pastor Jacob Lusk sang the cheesiest song on earth "I believe I can fly". GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.  This guy's voice is sooooo good but I cannot get around his terrible song choices, DRAMATIC singing faces, and lip gloss...he should just drop out now and sign a recording contract with Old Rugged Cross Records..or another gospel act. He even made Steven Tyler cheesy, he said "You wing's and voice will soar way beyond your wildest dreams" What the hell?? Thia, who they keep comparing to Michael Jackson?? Yes he looked like an Asian woman when he died but really???  She sang the worst version of "smile" that has ever been sung. She's talented but I don't see her going very far. J-Lo's secret lover, Stefano, follwed her. C'mon man!!! I was pulling for this guy but wtf! He sang Stevie Wonder's "Lately" the Hispanic-techo mess remix. AWFUL, but Gennifah still acted like she wanted to do him so...good for him.

Karen went next. She was my ONLY miss in the top 13, I wasn't impressed with her...for good reason. She. was. awful. I understand appealing to your audience but come on!! She sang Selena, wore a bedazzled pant suit, had an unbeWEAVEable ponytail on...the only thing missing was the black eyeliner around her lips. Epico el frasco (my attempt at Spanish: Epic Fail). Dbag Scotty was the last guy. He sang Garth Brooks "river". I don't like this kid. Josh Turner already has the deep voice thing on lock...so just stop. I don't know the kid but he comes off as VERY arrogant, and his voice can't hang with most of the girls or guys...but I see him sticking around a little while ONLY because of the country vote. Closing the show was...not even worth talking about...but I can't leave her out. Nyema murdered "Umbrella" she mixed in this awful tribal beat/"dance"/disaster that for sure snagged her a spot in the bottom 3.

Bottom 3: Karen, Nyema, and Ashton. (Thia may sneak in there too) It's too close to call, the 3 of them sucked but I'm going to go with Karen b/c she's my least fave. Adios.