Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A drowned mouse, a twitter snake, & a pistol whipped mother.

A Washington Man has filed a lawsuit against the maker of  because he found a dead mouse in the bottom of his can.  Mr Sulzhik says "I put it down and I felt it was still heavy. So I backwashed it and all this debris went into my mouth," says the 19 year old. "Then I looked in the can and I saw the tip of the tail and I vomited everywhere."  Ok, so I don't really drink energy drinks, and when I do it's redbull (and vodka). But wouldn't you notice a weird taste/odor/color/weight to the drink?? This guy was thristy!! Monster Energy have refused to believe this story is true, and in lieu of  paying this guy millions, they offered to settle with him by giving him a Monster Enegry "Mouse" Pad Haha. I think he should take the offer, having that mouse pad and maybe spraying on a little he'll be the white trashiest guy in town!

This next story...gave me cold chills. The Bronx Zoo "misplaced" a deadly egyptian cobra.  This snake is belived to be the species that cleopatra used to kill herself and when it was used in the Indiana Jones films...it is/was so dangerous that a thick pane of glass had to be placed between it and at all times. The Zoo closed the reptile house as soon as it was discovered that the snake was gone. Visitors were disappointed and one father complained that his little girl really wanted to see the snakes. Really, then take her out of her stroller and the two of you crawl around the reptile house, I've got $20 that one of you finds the snake . dumb ass
In lighter news, the snake now has over 10,000 followers on twitter further proving that this country is really stupid.

And finally, my favorite story of the day. 17 year old Rachel Hachero REALLY wanted her 2004 black Nissan 350Z. So much so that when her mother refused (over the phone) to come to the car lot and co-sign Rachel threatened to kill her.Well like any other 17 year old, Rachel accepted defeat and went home...oh wait no she didn't, around 7pm she showed up with a 9mm and pistol whipped her mom in the head. This obviously knocked some sense into her mother, who then rode with her attacker, Rachel and co-signed for her new car. REALLY, wtf is wrong with you?? If only all moms were this smart . Her mother refused to press charges due to the fact the daughter is one scary ho  and has been accepted to several stripper academy's ivy league schools...which no one believes. In closing, it was found that the gun she used to knock the crap out her momma was stolen from a police officer in June 2010. Yeah, she is for sure going to an ivy league school.

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