Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Fatherhood: The Beginning


So...I'm still pretty new to this whole "Dad" thing (above is my son and I's first fist bump) and while it's without question the best thing that has ever happened to me, no one told me how stupid I sounded when I said/acted like I was prepared...Really? So I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned in these first few months that are more valuable than wipe warmers or nipple shields (2 things I'd never heard of a year ago).

Nice to meet you: Now, I've watched enough Maury in my day to realize that every man has different expectations of what Fatherhood will bring.....
 For me, I thought that when Shepherd arrived he and I would instantly click, I'd hear angels sing, burst into tears while jumping for joy, and have this perfect moment. I never thought about the fact that I would be wearing a space suit (shoe covers included), face mask, surrounded by beeping machines and strangers, my wife in the middle of a serious surgery...oh and not to mention that this perfect little boy is a complete stranger. Yes, I'd been waiting anxiously for 39 weeks to meet him, I couldn't even sleep the night before he was born because I was so excited, but he still looked up at me like who/what the heck are you? So, the initial moment wasn't what I expected and before you know it the first night was over. We were blessed to have our families there chomping at the bit to meet him. During his first bath I felt like an animal at the zoo...
So it's midnight on the first night and Jess and I have decided that we are super parents and will keep Shep with us in the room. "Why would anyone send their sweet new baby to the nursery?" we asked. Fast Forward 2 hours, we've both been up for what seems like 3 weeks so we call the nurse to come pick him up. New Parents Fail! The rest of the hospital visit is a blur, rarely anytime alone and  nurses nurses and more nurses! Her nurse, his nurse, the cleaning nurse, the nurse that brings the food (but it took 4 hours for me to get a blanket). So as I'm carrying my boy out to the car I think "When we get home he and I can really get to know each other!" By this point I've already convinced myself that I'm the worst dad ever and  feel sorry for Shep being dealt such a crummy hand in the father department.

Lesson: In a nutshell, it took me a few weeks to really bond with the little guy...and that's ok. New/Future Dads, don't put any pressure on yourselves. Those first few days are so special and will fly by, just enjoy them for what they are and everything will work out!

Who is this Woman?: My wife is a rock star and really did very little complaining throughout her entire pregnancy. That said, once she was admitted to the hospital she became a different person. She was calm, stress free and very go with flow, words that wouldn't typically be used to describe Jess.  (<---what does that even mean) I was just going with it and then I realized she was completely drugged! Remember in college, you see someone in the middle of the week and they know you but you've never seen them in your life because you met them after midnight the previous Saturday... that's Jess's memory of the hospital; blurry at best.
Lesson: Guys, make sure you pay attention. Hopefully the hospital staff will keep track of everything but in our experience we had the whole spectrum of nursing staff from please move in with us to Do Not come back in our room (I really had to kick a rude nurse out of our room).

Sleepless Marriage (get your mind out of the gutter): So we've got our sweet boy home and Jess and I are both infatuated with him! That combined with the fact that he wasn't quite catching onto nursing led to us coming to the conclusion that we should both get up with him every time he woke up. Terrible idea! There was a pivotal lack of sleep moment around 3am on the 2nd night that Jess gave me this look... and I was pretty sure if murder was legal...well this blog would've never been written.
Lesson: Tag team the night time sessions and NEVER, under any circumstance complain about anything. Guys, I'm on your side and realize that you're completely justified but you can't have a rational discussion with a sleep deprived new mom.

Those are some of the stand outs things I've learned but most importantly; make sure you soak it all in. Those first few weeks fly by and while everyday if more fun that the previous...I still feel like he's growing up too fast. They say time flies when you're having fun and I'm having the time of my life!...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Dear Shepherd...


Today is the BIG DAY. Jess and I are ready to enter a new chapter in our lives and I can't wait to meet the star character! We've been soo blessed with such amazing family and friends supporting us along the way, this little guy doesn't know how lucky he is! I wrote this letter to Shepherd a few weeks ago and while he may never read it, I'll think of it often to make sure I hold myself accountable and give him everything I promised, and hopefully more.

Shepherd,
I found it very difficult to find the right words to say to you, someone that I’ve never met, yet love so much. I’m so nervous, it’s as if I’ve been holding my breath for 9 months. Every day I ask your Mom if you’re moving around “enough” and I’ve been praying for you day and night since I found out you were on the way. You’ll be here any day now and my life will be forever changed for the better; I’m so excited, over the moon actually. I’m looking forward to meeting you and helping you on your journey to become the man I already know you can be; a kind man, full of integrity, compassion and the ability to laugh at yourself. A confident man that doesn’t judge others and is respectful of women. There is a truckload of things I want to teach you, things that we can learn together, and I'm sure you'll teach me just as much! I know that God made me the man I am, gave me the life that I’ve lived with the struggles I’ve faced, for you. I hope that I can help you to know that God and I love you unconditionally...always, and that it’s OK to fail and to cry. That being nice to people is invaluable and that it’s OK to be silly. I want you to be confident and happy, generous and loyal. I want you to tell the truth and keep promises, dream the biggest dreams and be a good friend. I can’t wait to teach you how to tie your shoes, ride a bike, give a firm hand shake, and more importantly a great hug! I look forward to teaching you  how to throw a ball, swing a tennis racquet and give you the confidence to show the world your dance moves. I want you to know how important it is to have good manners, be a gentleman and to always do what is right, even when it’s difficult. I want you to be the type of man that other men respect, women are comfortable around and a leader that people follow because they want to.  I want to teach you how to appropriately handle your anger, manage your finances, and the importance of being a good listener. I am looking forward to teaching you to cook, shave, have fun, tie a tie, shoot a free throw, cut the grass, work hard, change a tire, cherish your family, love life, respect your mother, be a spiritual leader, a lifelong learner and a man of God. Most important, I hope that I can teach you how to live, by giving you a strong example to follow. I know that being your father will make me a better man and I can’t wait to be your dad for the rest of my life!
I Love You So Much Buddy,

Your Dad.