Thursday, September 22, 2011

Arresting Beauty...incredible Fugshots!

The Sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home...8 sad Amish billy goats were arrested in Graves Co. Kentucky for refusing to put reflectors on the back of their wagons. Unlike the "uppity" Amish below, these men believe the reflectors to be "too modern". (conformists!).
 (billy goats).I wish I could say that the men were forced to wear bright orange jumpsuits while serving ther 3-10 day sentences but, the jail offered them a darker alternative after the men refused to wear the orage. Not that it would matter if they went nude, check out the facial hair; can u imagine the amish undercarriage... YIKES!
So, the hall of fame worthy mugshot above led me to searching the web for other awesome mugshots and making up the story behind them!

 Louise Anderson is charged with theft by deception...no one can tell if she's happy or sad...or seductive??see.

 Fa'Rhonda Jones was arrested for attempted robbery after "she?" attempted to pose as a mannequin in order to rob the store after hours.

 Billy Goates was arrested for attempted bestiality for trying to seduce a sheep by wrapping his nasty ass gauged  ears around themselves to make him look more animal like (see amish).

& Thelma and Louise were arrested for prostitution.

 Hoopy Goldberg was arrested for that hair cut.

 The Reigning Mrs. Chalupa was arrested for being a drag and getting in a fight with another pagent girl

 I can see it!

Really?
 for impersonating Nicki Minaj!
 Arrested during the middle of her haircut on drug dealing charges. Hopefully she'll get clean in jail...poor thing is only 22, a HARD 22.

 Until today, she was a "FUNctioning alcoholic.

We all know where Timberlake is, JC is on ABDC, Joey gets lame hosting jobs, Lance is gay and that other NSYNC guy incarcerated .

 and I couldn't look at anymore after the queef dressed as a breathalyzer got a DUI.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

America is REALLY? cool!


So I just read that the world still thinks Americans are "the coolest". While I have to agree that there are a lot of cool Americans, as a nation, we aren't. For instance  and  / are cool but , , and (remember ashanti) are NOT cool. The problem with American culture/freedom is that complete idiots are given the right to think they are cool. I'm all for equal rights blah blah and I appreciate the humor that comes from these people...but reallly?
One great part of being an American is the pride we all have in our country. I love the 4th, fireworks, hot dogs, apple pie, and vodka (that's American right?) and agree that its great to be patriotic but unfortunately there is a fine line (that most people cross) between being patriotic and idiotic. For instance,

idiot.. Really? First off, Cat Lady Liberty, maybe if you took more time "maintaining" your other cat, Uncle Sam Whiskers wouldn't be your only friend and second...I would just like to see tat guy & vest guy brawl to see who loves Amurica more! Losers.

While Ricki Lake, Kanye and Stars & Stripes face are all lame, this next guy is a loser among losers. Daniel Bedard 36, who I can only imagine is the president of the Celine Dion Fan club, broke into the singer's home on September 6th. Apparently he did not plan to rob the singer but broke in only to draw himself a nice warm bubble bath    . He also raided  her fridge for some post bath pastry. When police arrived on the scene Mr. Bedard was coming down stairs and asked what they were doing there. He was quickly arrested. Once informed of what had happened Celine was disgusted  and couldn't believe her ears . She the quickly ran to her bedroom where her worst nightmare was realized  the crook had taken a gift Celine's old ass husband had gotten when he sailed to the US on the titanic. Sources say the priceless itemis still missing.

That guy alone, well and Celine,  are sure to knock us out of the top spot!