Hazadous Landscape

We've all made bad decisions...it's part of life but some people are just too stupid for their own good. Exhibit A...a piece of  (Mr. Byrd)that happens to live in a town very close to wear I grew up was arrested recently for D.U.I. This happens to the best of us, my issue isn't with his drinking doing drugs and driving,well I have issues with that too, but it's the rest of the story that gets me. Kentucky is known (I'm being optimistic) for mint juleps, derby hats, horses, and of course basketball. However Kentucky is also looked at as the trailer park of the U.S.A., no it's not west Virginia, only Kentuckians think that way. Mr. Byrd took every potential redneck tool in his arsenal and just added fuel to this trailer fire. He was driving his down the road when his pre-paid cell started to ring. He sat down his Budweiser, held his cig in the corner of his mouth, as he'd been doing since age 9, and looked down to find his phone. As he did this, because he is both stupid AND drunk, he begins to drift toward the shoulder of the road...which he completely went off of and hit another car oh wait...never mind it was a lawn mower!!!  Thankfully the man with the lawnmower is going to be ok...but not before he had to be airlifted to the hospital. Mr. Byrd was arrested for operating a motor vehicle under the influence of drugs, first offense, possession of marijuana, first-degree wanton endangerment and failure to have insurance. So you pop a bunch of pills, grab a joint for the road and run over some poor guy mowing his grass  all without having car insurance...you are a total moron. When you get out of jail I suggest you call this guy . IDIOT.
Idiot #2...Don Derfler (yes that's his real name) couldn't believe what he saw as he looked from his living room window last week. A UPS Driver made a "special" delivery and asked "what can brown do for you"? Now that would be funny, but it wasn't UPS it was a USPS mail man  that pulled his pants down and dropped a deuce in Mr. Derfler's neighbors bushes. Now Mr. Derfler doesn't get off the hook...Only God knows why but the Derfster proceeded to start snapping photos of the mail man AND of what he left behind in the bushes for "evidence".  (that's how you say EWW without using words). The United States Postal Service is "disheartened" and "disappointed" says Ron Anderson and the postal worker has been suspended without pay until the matter is "cleaned up". REALLY??