Yard Vomit

I work in a cubicle...blah, but I'm fortunate in that my cube faces 2 large glass doors that not only let in lots of sunshine, but more importantly give me a great view into the life of the cantankerous, ornery, "out of shape" woman that lives in the house across the street. Before I ever had the pleasure of seeing this person I was very impressed with the thoroughness of her holiday decor. I started working in this office in November and the first thing I saw was an 18 foot tall inflatable Tom Turkey that was literally being filled with air from a jet engine. He had several friends, 4 pilgrims, another turkey wearing a pilgrim’s hat (repetitive??), an inflatable gourd (wtf) and what I assumed was the Mayflower?? Which reminded me of a joke, "If April showers bring May flowers, what to Mayflowers bring??? Pilgrims!!! I bet she would enjoy that joke. Anyway, fast forward, before I can return to work from the 4 day Thanksgiving holiday, everything has either been deflated or the city has removed the eye sore…either way no more turkey. The next morning I follow what I thought was either the light of the north star or Rudolph’s nose to my office…it was neither, if fact it was just the glow of the Christmas Explosion that was now her front yard!! I mean there are lights, wreaths,  ice skating penguins, Santa flying a plane, snow men, snow women, snow people in a snow globe that actually blows snow (again repetitive), reindeer, angels, snow angels, Christmas carolers, Really???. This all made me think...Q) how did that woman do all of that, she can barely make it to her van? Combine the mess of ice and snow that fell in KY during December and early January and the fact that Christmas inflatable’s and winter weather do NOT mix, which I find pretty ironic, and you'll get the answer. A) She doesn't live alone! One morning I see a MUCH younger man hobble (see upcoming post for my reasoning behind his hobbling) out of her front door with a broom. He went inflatable to inflatable, brushing off the snow and ice and restoring them to their former glory. This happened numerous times over the next few weeks...so much so that I didn't know whether to admire the man’s dedication to holiday decorations or feel sorry for him...to be continued.