Monday, February 28, 2011

A Visitors Guide to Winchester

It has been my experience that regardless of where you go in Kentucky...it's all the same. Either I have an uncanny ability to find the most ridiculous people and places or they are so prevalent in this area that they are impossible to miss (I'm going with option #2). Winchester is a great little town, I could go on and on about the great people I met there, JK's cafe, and the beer cheese burger at Engine House deli...but it's not that kind of blog. Instead I'm going to share some of the most amazing things I've seen and suggest some eateries to avoid!

Picture this: a tan, beautiful young woman in a swimsuit, lying on the hood of a tricked out muscle car that's parked in front of a house larger than some cities...not Winchester. Now picture this: A grey 1986 Toyota Corolla parked by a dumpster in the Speedway parking lot, a cokehead in her late 40's (not the same lady that puked on my car) wearing a sequined prom dress sprawled out on the hood of the car. As she continues to pose/go through coke withdrawals the "photographer", who I can only assume is Olan Mills himself, proceeds to take shot after shot on his camera that I'm assuming came new with the car...WINCHESTER!

Now it's lunch time...you're craving Asian. You look at the buffet, looks decent, except NONE of the shrimp have been deveined, gross...so stroll down to the sushi bar...WTF, is that seriously a hot dog chopped up and stuffed in the middle of a ball of rice; Oscar Mayer Roll?...WINCHESTER. (Refer to top paragraph for lunch alternatives).

Now you're at Wal-mart. I can't peg this one on Winchester b/c I think the same people travel around Kentucky going to every Wal-mart. I won't give a description of this person...it'll be more fun for you to just make up what they look like. Here they come, rolling out with 6 24packs of white trash holy water (Mt. dew), a 30 pack of Budweiser and several cartons of "smokes". I quickly realize this person has their shit together and obviously have their priorities in check. As they proceed to unload their loot into the trunk of their car that is missing the entire rear windshield I notice...wait for it...THERE IS A CAR SEAT IN THE BACKSEAT. Ugh, REALLY??

So there you have it, the Winchester visitor's guide, we'll it could be the visitor's guide to Danville, Lexington, Frankfort...basically any other city in the bluegrass state. Happy Travels.

"Their Love was as Mobile as Their Home, and just as carefree"

1 comment:

  1. My oh my, the things I could add to this after a lifetime of practically growing up there. But alas, seeing as your blog is about the ridiculous and unbelievable, I would have to concur that all of these things are quite possible in this town. Hard to believe, but there are definitely days in New York that I miss it. But mostly you and your wife =)

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