Vodka & Sesame Street

A few months ago I worked in an office that was surrounded by low income housing. For the most part the people were friendly, not in a how are you today kind of way...more like I'm going to ask you for money but not hit you in the head and take your wallet sort of way. I never had any issue with any of them until one morning I had to leave work early...as I'm walking to my jeep, as beautiful as a new born baby, or a summer sunset, this is what I saw: This skanky woman was literally puking on the front bumper of my jeep! When she saw me she kind of stopped, wiped her meth mouth on her oversized oscar the grouch T-shirt (by the looks of her hair I'm assuming they were roommates??), which matched her Mt. Dew pajama pants surprisingly well (get it girl!), she walked passed me and slurred "I'm puking". REALLY! Ms. Lohan, I know your puking, it's all over my car. That said, in my opinion it's never too early to be drunk, but 9 am is definitely too early to be puking in public, keep it classy ma'm. I'll bring you some alka-seltzer and a water hose tomorrow so you can take a shower and WASH MY CAR!