America is REALLY? cool!

So I just read that the world still thinks Americans are "the coolest". While I have to agree that there are a lot of cool Americans, as a nation, we aren't. For instance  and  / are cool but , , and (remember ashanti) are NOT cool. The problem with American culture/freedom is that complete idiots are given the right to think they are cool. I'm all for equal rights blah blah and I appreciate the humor that comes from these people...but reallly?
One great part of being an American is the pride we all have in our country. I love the 4th, fireworks, hot dogs, apple pie, and vodka (that's American right?) and agree that its great to be patriotic but unfortunately there is a fine line (that most people cross) between being patriotic and idiotic. For instance,

idiot.. Really? First off, Cat Lady Liberty, maybe if you took more time "maintaining" your other cat, Uncle Sam Whiskers wouldn't be your only friend and second...I would just like to see tat guy & vest guy brawl to see who loves Amurica more! Losers.

While Ricki Lake, Kanye and Stars & Stripes face are all lame, this next guy is a loser among losers. Daniel Bedard 36, who I can only imagine is the president of the Celine Dion Fan club, broke into the singer's home on September 6th. Apparently he did not plan to rob the singer but broke in only to draw himself a nice warm bubble bath    . He also raided  her fridge for some post bath pastry. When police arrived on the scene Mr. Bedard was coming down stairs and asked what they were doing there. He was quickly arrested. Once informed of what had happened Celine was disgusted  and couldn't believe her ears . She the quickly ran to her bedroom where her worst nightmare was realized  the crook had taken a gift Celine's old ass husband had gotten when he sailed to the US on the titanic. Sources say the priceless itemis still missing.

That guy alone, well and Celine,  are sure to knock us out of the top spot!