So I just read that the world still thinks Americans are "the coolest". While I have to agree that there are a lot of cool Americans, as a nation, we aren't. For instance
and 
/
are cool but 
, 
, and 
(remember ashanti) are NOT cool. The problem with American culture/freedom is that complete idiots are given the right to think they are cool. I'm all for equal rights blah blah and I appreciate the humor that comes from these people...but reallly?One great part of being an American is the pride we all have in our country. I love the 4th, fireworks, hot dogs, apple pie, and vodka (that's American right?) and agree that its great to be patriotic but unfortunately there is a fine line (that most people cross) between being patriotic and idiotic. For instance,
idiot.
. Really? First off, Cat Lady Liberty, maybe if you took more time "maintaining" your other cat, Uncle Sam Whiskers wouldn't be your only friend and second...I would just like to see tat guy & vest guy brawl to see who loves Amurica more! Losers.While Ricki Lake, Kanye and Stars & Stripes face are all lame, this next guy is a loser among losers. Daniel Bedard 36, who I can only imagine is the president of the Celine Dion Fan club, broke into the singer's
home on September 6th. Apparently he did not plan to rob the singer but broke in only to draw himself a nice warm bubble bath 
. He also raided her fridge
for some post bath pastry. When police arrived on the scene Mr. Bedard was coming down stairs and asked what they were doing there. He was quickly arrested. Once informed of what had happened Celine was disgusted 
and couldn't believe her ears 
. She the quickly ran to her bedroom where her worst nightmare was realized 
the crook had taken a gift Celine's old ass husband had gotten when he sailed to the US on the titanic. Sources say the priceless item
is still missing.That guy alone, well and Celine, are sure to knock us out of the top spot!
. No I really listen to hear about the stupid crap people get in trouble for doing. My faith in humanity is slowly being whittled away by these idiots that clearly are not wearing their 
. Dumb ass #1 
apparently this isn't just a terrible lifetime movie...it's the great idea thought up by a Vancouver woman. 36 year old Heidi Knowles 
(actual photo) attempted to sell her 3 day old baby, and that is the least sad part of this story. Not only did this LOSER try to sell her baby, she tried to sell the child for a bargain $500.00....at a taco bell.
. Really? It's obvious that you are an idiot, and probably inbred but that's beside the point. How did you come up with this figure... That the going rate for babies these days? This purse 
is $800 & this truck 
is $700. You really thought your child was worth less than this truck...which is probably where the child was conceived? Well then I started to think about your target market Ms. Knowles (related to
)?? I think you should have at least went to McDonald's or if you were feeling extry greedy, maybe Applebee's where all of the rich folk dine. Do you know who eats at 
...fat people, drunk people, and fat drunk people...none of which have much extra $$ to add a baby on to their $4.99 chicken quesadilla value meal. I mean if you dangle a $500 baby and 
in front of 
she's not going to pick the baby. Thankfully Beyonce's cousin was arrested (previous warrants surprise surprise) and the child was taken into protective services, hopefully forever. Unfortunately for Ms. Knowles, her bail was set at $500.00 which she was unable to come up with.
. To no one's surprise (other than dumb mom) the baby fell out of the window. Thankfully, the baby only fell a few feet onto the 
directly below the window. Here comes the dumb part, the mother, seeing the child fall out of the window, without hesitation 
out of the window. My thought...what were you going to do...land on your child after it hit the ground??? How would this help anyone? Fortunately for dumb people, the balcony also caught the mom, breaking her ankle in the process. Physically both mother and child were ok but they were sent to the ER to be evaluated, at which point the mother was given a cat scan that reveled she had 
. Most. People. Are. Gross.
. This has to be the WORST, saddest, lamest show on tv and I'm not entirely convinced that it shouldn't be illegal! They take these little girls and wax their eyebrows 
cake on the make up 
to the point that they literally look like a spazzed out doll, give them Texas sized hair 
, which they obviously love, put them in ridiculous ensembles
and good Lord, they even give them fake teeth so their teeth aren't crooked 
. They're babies...so they have baby teeth you psychos! This portion of the show is just sad, but these kids idiot parents are what make the show reality TV GOLD! The mothers of the sad little girls are just sadder little girls that were never pretty 
or are psycho competitive control freaks and have grown up to be sad little girls 
in REALLY big girl bodies. These sad women drag their weak sauce husbands from city to city paying $1000's on clothing, pageant fees, make up, and their self esteem...all at the cost of their daughters. When their daughters win they act like it's the best thing that could happen in the world 
. Congratulations!!!! Out of all the 6 year olds that are made to look like 19 year old whores...you're the best one!!!! (Based on this photo...jerry curl ringlets aren't a hit!) And when their kids lose...ugh, it's disgusting. 
Their Mom's are soo disappointed and often times seem mad that they "wasted" money on the pageant...putting guilt on the child and making them feel like it's their fault they were dealt a shitty hand in the parent department. In closing, just because your little girl hasn't gotten addicted to buffets, doesn't need fake hair clips from the mall, and can still button her jeans 
doesn't mean you should paint on her face, dress her up like
and parade her around begging for her to be judged. Yes, more than likely you have self esteem issues but if you keep making your daughter feel like she's only worthy if she's dressed like a circus clown and wins...later in life she'll continue to dress that way...only she'll be swinging around a pole.
ok now picture the set from 
Mad Men. Ok, now take away every cool aspect of that set and that's my 
Using this generic cubicle as a base...imagine that the cubicle walls are a deep shade of 70's maroon, well 2 of them are, the other 2 are two different shades/tones of wood paneling. The desk top is a greenish/blue marble pattern and the carpet is/was tan but has now been waterstained beyond recognition due to the rain that comes in through the double doors directly in front of my computer. These 
are the saving grace of my cubicle. They let in TONS of sunlight, and most days, after 2pm I become that loser that 
. Well not actually but I've thought about it. My office manager was kind enough to get a tint to put on the door but it was applied so poorly that it resembles the tint you may see today on a 1991 Ford Probe.
. All this combined with the lady in the cube next to me
that talks SO LOUD on her phone that regardless of where the person on the other line is, they could just hang up and still hear her...save your minutes playa...and I still love my office. This may have 
program that starts filming here next Monday. I started in this office in November...so needless to say, other than the suprisingly active to have such a sedintary body type woman that I have a direct view into her life thanks to my double doors, there wasn't much activity during the winter months. However as soon as the temps began to rise our first exhibit opened.
Termites!! The way they were tearing up my wood paneling you would've thought they were at 
(she's at golden corral). Thankfully they were quickly taken care of by Bill the Bug guy...that's how he introduced himself. At this point I didn't think anything about termites, I mean this building ( a former morgue) was built in the early 1880's so that's to be expected. However, when I started to hear baby birds in the 
above my doors, I realized I was in Dr. Doolittle 3...or is it 4? Better yet...no one cares. When we contacted the building mangaer (this is not the only part of the building with birds in the signs/walls/cieling/etc. His response "I'm only worried about em if they's bats". Really? (Don't read this)
doesn't mean I'm not at risk. So now that we are close to completeing the circle of life (termites eaten by birds eaten by...SNAKES). Yep, I stepped out of my door to talk on the phone and saw a ball of snakes 
directly outside my door, literally less than 10 feet from where I sit. Well I bring everyone out to look, and it's determined that they are harmless...but I don't care. We call 
...may or may not be his name, I didn't catch it, and he laid out a "sticky pad" and lured the snakes out with cinammon oil??? Never heard of that. Well, it worked. I went outside 5 minutes after he left and saw (actual photo)
there are 4 in the pic, he caught a total of 8, and some got away b/c they simply slithered over their unfortunate buddies that were trapped. He said he sealed up the hole so any that were left can't get out...but all I can imagine is that they are now under the building and will soon be falling from the 
that is DIRECTLY above my head. If and when that happens...if I survive 
I may be asking for a transfer. I mean, I did want to be a Zoo Keeper when I was 7 but this is crazy.